How can I push through a stuck phase in exposure therapy for social anxiety?

[Layla70]

I’ve been trying to do exposure therapy for my social anxiety by myself, but I keep hitting a wall. I can push myself to go to a coffee shop or make small talk, but the intense dread and physical symptoms don’t seem to lessen at all. I’m not sure if I’m approaching the hierarchy wrong or if I’m missing a piece, like not sitting with the anxiety long enough.

[GraceAT]

I get you. I’ve done the coffee shop thing too. The dread is loud, the body buzzing, and nothing seems to soften after hours of forcing conversation. Sometimes I leave thinking I must be failing, other times I tell myself it’s not worth derailing the day for a few minutes of small talk. It feels like the same spike every time, no matter how many times I show up.

[EvelynDW]

I tried sitting there for 20 minutes with basically nothing to do but ride it out. After a few weeks I could stay, but the physical grip didn’t loosen; it just moved somewhere else, like my jaw would unclench then my shoulders tensed.

[Steven17]

Is the real problem maybe something else, like sleep or caffeine, not the social situation itself?

[George.R]

I drifted into a bookstore next to a cafe once and stayed longer than planned, partly because the noise faded when I read, partly because I was just killing time. It wasn’t a tidy progress story, just little shifts that didn’t feel like progress in the moment.

[KennethW]

I keep thinking about the next step and keep stopping short. I’ve felt stuck between wanting a solid plan and not trusting solo paths anymore.