How should I handle a user who toes the civility line as a new moderator?

[Amelia.G]

I’m a new moderator and I’m struggling with how to handle a user who constantly pushes the boundaries of our civility policy without quite breaking it. Their comments create a tense atmosphere, but when I review them, they technically follow the written rules. I’m unsure if I should be stricter based on the intent and the negative reactions from others, or if sticking strictly to the letter of the rules is the only fair approach.

[Andrew.R]

I had a user like that last year. I kept the line on insults tight and let some sharp comments slide to see the effect. The room stayed tense. I issued a single warning and posted a calm message about respecting the space. The metric I tracked was how often threads felt heated and it barely budged.

[Donald60]

I am not sure if the issue is intent or if the rules are what actually need changing. I lean to holding firm on the letter but I worry that would invite more of this quiet aggression. Sometimes I think about a softer line but then I doubt.

[Scott22]

Do you think the real problem is not the words but the lack of clear boundaries and if so would a stricter guideline help or is the behavior the root cause?

[John.W]

Kept notes on what got tense and tried a cooling off pause in replies for a day. The count of tense replies dropped briefly but then rose again after a post that felt personal. I dropped the pause because it felt clumsy and people pushed back.