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My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and I’ve noticed he never says “I love you” first. I say it often, and he always replies with it, but the initiation is entirely one-sided. It makes me wonder if his feelings are as deep as mine, or if he’s just comfortable reciprocating out of habit.

I get the ache when only one side initiates. In my case he would say it back, but I started wondering if it was fear or habit rather than real warmth.

I tried saying it first for a month, every time, and it didn't change the pattern. It just felt like I was keeping score.

I did tell him I love you and asked what that would mean to him. He shrugged and said he cares, but the urge to start it felt rare for him. It left me unsure.

Maybe the problem isn't the words at all. We drifted into routines, and I started measuring small proofs of care instead. Then we took a weekend away to talk, and it helped a little, but the silence afterwards was still loud.

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