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I keep hearing that a regular meditation practice should help with my constant low-level anxiety, but when I actually sit down to try it, my mind just races more. I feel like I'm doing it wrong because I can't seem to find that quiet anchor everyone talks about.

I tried a 5 minute sit every day for two weeks. The first week my brain was a hamster on a wheel and I felt more anxious after, not less. No quiet anchor appeared. By week two I noticed the phone temptations mellowed a bit after the session, but the racing thoughts were still there. It wasn’t magic, just a small lull between shakes.

I wondered if the whole goal of clearing thoughts is the wrong lens. I started labeling what came up instead of chasing silence, like thinking, itching, worry, plan, etc., and that helped me not panic about the noise. It’s not quiet, but it’s a tiny bit less loud. Mindfulness is a word people throw around, but it hasn’t fixed the anxiety either.

There was that morning after the coffee where I sat and nothing felt right about it, so I just stopped half through and tuned into the clock. The breath did something small, but the chest ache stayed. I guess progress was just showing up, not fixing anything.

Do you really need to do it every day, or is there a better rhythm for where your brain is right now?

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