How do you know if you're part of a Discord group or just tolerated?

[Mason.M]

I’ve been in a tight-knit Discord server for over a year, but lately I feel like I’m just a background character. People have inside jokes I’m not part of and make plans in a side channel I don’t check. How do you know when you’re actually part of the group or just a tolerated outsider?

[AubreyW]

I’ve been there, yeah. It sneaks up when the inside jokes roll by and you realize you’re not in on the plan in that side channel. You start thinking maybe you’re just there to fill a seat.

[Olivia47]

A few times I tried dropping a line in the chat, inviting to join a game or voice chat, and got silence. It felt slow and weird, like I was watching a window from the outside.

[LarryH]

Is the problem me or the group’s vibe? That word belonging sticks in my head, but I’m not sure it’s mine to claim.

[Larry_L]

I drifted away for a week, stopped checking the side channel, and when I came back I felt almost the same. It’s not a fix, just a pause to see what they’d do.