Should I be worried when my boyfriend gets quiet around my male friends?

[Aaron_J]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and I’ve started to notice he gets very quiet and withdrawn whenever I mention hanging out with my male friends from college. It’s not like these are new people in my life, and I’ve never given him a reason to doubt me. I’m not sure if this is a sign of deeper insecurity or just a normal reaction he needs to work through.

[Violet54]

I’ve seen that quiet switch before. My partner would go silent when I mentioned friends from college. At first I blamed myself, but after a few honest talks he admitted it felt like a threat to the relationship. We didn’t fix it overnight, but naming the feeling helped a little.

[Jeffrey83]

One time I invited a male friend into a hangout, and we ended up in a tense pause that lasted a while. He said he felt left out and worried I was choosing someone else. We talked, set some boundaries, and tried to keep things transparent.

[PaulQW]

Could this be about something else entirely, like how he handles insecurities or past stuff that never got spoken about? Maybe the real problem isn’t the friends.

[Robert13]

Honestly, some days it just feels like a boulder I have to push to keep the peace. It’s not clear if I’m overreacting or if he is. I drift between patience and feeling stuck.