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I’ve been invited to a formal dinner in Seoul, and I’m worried about handling the side dishes correctly. I know passing dishes with one hand is a serious breach of etiquette, but I’m unsure about all the subtle rules around the shared plates.

Two hands to pass or receive, that’s what I learned in Seoul. I watched the host handle the serving utensils for the banchan and I mirrored it, letting others set the pace. I kept a little distance from the shared plates and used the provided tongs or spoons to move things to my own dish. It felt safer that way.

I started with a tiny portion on the first banchan plate, then waited to see where everyone put theirs. I avoided grabbing straight from a central tray, and I let the server refill as needed. It was easier than I expected once I relaxed and stopped trying to multitask with too many chopsticks.

I fumbled once and knocked a spoon against the edge of the dish, which drew a surprised look. I apologized quickly and kept going, deciding to watch the others a beat longer next time. The main takeaway was to treat the shared plates as something you observe first, then copy what seems normal in the room.

Is it really something to worry about when the room is full of people politely guiding the table and the servers are moving around like clockwork?

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