What can I do when my partner never plans dates and I feel unappreciated?

[LarryJR]

My partner and I have been together for over a year, and I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one putting in effort to plan dates or create special moments. I bring up wanting more romance, and they agree, but then nothing really changes. I love them, but this constant one-sided effort is making me feel unappreciated and more like a roommate.

[NathanS]

Yeah I’ve been there. You plan something nice and they say yes, then nothing happens and you start counting the small things you did. It starts to feel like you’re the only one carrying the romance torch, and you end up grumbling about it more than enjoying it.

[Aaron35]

I tried setting up a real date night once a week, wrote it in the calendar, bought some scented candles. They seemed into it at first, but then weeks passed with zero follow through. I stopped bringing it up because it just felt like noise.

[Scarlett71]

Maybe it isn’t about romance in the big moments. For us it was more about attention in daily life. A quick text, a joke, a shared joke at dinner—those faded too. When I asked for it, they nodded but actions didn’t change.

[EvelynW]

Could it be you’re chasing a cue they don’t know how to give anymore? I asked if we could talk about how love shows up for each of us, and I got a half answer and a shrug.

[AbigailB]

One night we split chores and I kept quiet about the romance for a week, just focusing on making the home cozy and tried small things. It did something for me, but they didn't seem to connect it to romance. It’s messy.

[NicholasG]

I’m not sure this is the real problem. Maybe it’s tiredness, money, or something else. The feeling of being unappreciated is heavy, and I keep wondering if the issue is bigger than date plans. Not resolving anything, just venting.