What should I do if my partner won't plan dates or have meaningful conversations?

[Jonathan99]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one putting in the effort to plan dates or even just have meaningful conversations. I bring it up, he says he’ll try, but then nothing changes. It’s starting to make me question our whole dynamic and whether he’s really as invested as I am.

[EllaYM]

I hear you. I’ve been there, feeling like I’m the only one who shows up to plan. He says he’ll try, but then nothing changes. A few times I forced a real plan and watched it vanish last minute. It wore me down and I started wondering if I’m the only one invested.

[Thomas20]

We tried a weekly check-in and a shared calendar. He forgot a few times; I forgot a few times too. It helped a little to name it as something we’re both slipping on, not just him. Still, the energy between us didn’t magically fix itself.

[Larry88]

Maybe the problem isn’t the dates but what we expect from each other. Maybe I need more daily connection and he’s fine with occasional bursts. Could be a real mismatch hiding under the calendar and conversations.

[ZoeyNB]

I drifted once, ditched the plan for a week, did something spontaneous on my own, and he seemed surprised but glad to have space. It made me question if I’m chasing a version of us that isn’t there. Not sure if it mattered, but it pushed me to rethink what I want from this dynamic, not just the next date.